Leave your dignity at the door, please

Sometimes I'm sitting there at work, and kind of step outside of myself. I'm watching myself from an outsider perspective. And I can't help but think "Whoa. How did I get here??? How is this my life??"

Perhaps I've always done this. Perhaps we all do this (anyone...Bueller?!).

Mostly I think this because my job now entails a lot of nudity, old people, "Code Browns," and just a lot of body-related stuff. Yep, you guessed it! I'm in healthcare!!!! Woo hoo! Sometimes I'm standing there watching some old naked person wipe their butt on the toilet, and it crosses  my mind that, "Huh. I got a masters degree for this..." 

I'm also astounded at how completely desensitized I've become at being around so many old naked people, having to help wipe people's butts, being so privy to the intimate, gross things that happen to or appear on people's bodies, the nasty smells and sights, all the shedding skin (dry heave)...and more. It's just,"All in a day's work!" now.

Who am I?!?! 

I actually forget that people bathing, dressing themselves, and using the toilet is normally a private and personal thing. It's just so non-eventful for me now to have to stand there nearby or physically help people do those things, that I am actually taken aback when someone acts embarrassed. It jolts me back to the reality that what my job entails is oh, a wee bit of a privacy invasion and dignity-stealer.

But really there is basically no privacy in the hospital, let's be honest...There should really be a sign at the entrance to the hospital that states, "Leave your dignity at the door." Like a drunk girl getting out of a cab, just leave everything behind!! 

Pretirement: Not as Great as Retirement

I can't take credit for coining the term "pretirement" (I heard it from a friend of a friend around 30 years old who quit her job and was trying to decide what to do next).

Well I've had a taste of pretirement these last few weeks somewhat unintentionally (due to some last minute changes with my school placements and having to wait in limbo for things to work themselves out). And although I've never been fully retired, I think I can safely say that pretirement is not as great as retirement. It could be perhaps (read: if you have MONEY).

It's definitely nice to have some newfound free time to read, do lots of self-reflection (yay?), go for long runs, and have time to do anything you want, even those pesky little projects you want to do but you never have time to do when you're working all the time, like organize your sock drawer.*

Instead you want to go do fun things...things outside the house because you're getting cabin fever...things with friends, but oh, wait - they're all working during the day...things that require MONEY, which you don't really have (whilst coaxing yourself that going to grad school was a good idea)... le sigh.

So here's a list of things I've done in my pretirement. Stay in school, kids. 

1. Watched a free movie at the National Gallery of Art (I packed my own lunch and snacks so I wouldn't have to eat out, uh which I actually do most of the time when I go out and about now...) where they gave us free keychains woot! Also walked through the free botanical garden in DC.

2. Watched a movie by myself during the day (using a Groupon for a ticket discount).

3. Went to a winery by myself, read in a adirondack chair on their lawn, sipping on a glass of chardonnay. Earlier the guy giving the tasting asked as I approached the bar, "Just you??" To which I replied, "Uh, yep." Glad he didn't make it awkward or anything...Then two ladies came and joined me. In your face wine man!

4. Went on a lot of long runs...while listening to an audiobook. Multitasking.

5. Read two self-help books from the library about making sure you can do all the things you love to do in life (ironic).

6. Found $2! (it's the little things that count...)

7. Treated myself to a couple pupusas one night from a popular pupuseria. I ordered in Spanish, nbd. Presented my credit card, only to find out I needed a $10 minimum to use a card...and I only had $2 in cash (see above). So I walked out with 5 pupusas instead of 2...Voy a ser gordita!!

8. Watched a lot of Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. It's "educational."

9. Finally organized those annoying stacks of paper that were collecting in my room. Blah.

10. For some much needed laughs, reread parts of my journal from college.

11. Gleaned some empowerment from reading a book about women who have done some amazing solo travels around the globe.

12. So I don't sound totally lonely and despondent, I actually did hang out with friends too - lunch dates, Nats game, movies, some house parties/potlucks, day trip to Philly, lots of phone chats, and spent almost a whole week in NYC with a friend who was in town from Singapore.

13. Restarted this blog! Yay for boredom!

While the student ID can garner some decent discounts, it's not always an option for many establishments. I'm thinking maybe there should be an equivalent to an AARP card for the pretired folks...AAPP?? 

My pretirement is coming to an end after this week. I have to say though that I'm a little sad. I feel like I really need to live it up this last week...maybe I'll do some gardening and try out some new recipes;)

*Newsflash: when you actually have time to organize your sock drawer, you don't actually want to organize your sock drawer. 

Blog Revival!

I thought I had deleted this blog awhile back since I hadn't been updating it. But to my pleasant surprise, I didn't!! Good thing, cause I have decided to resuscitate this dying ember with some new posts from time to time. I know, I know. Everyone just calm the hell down though. This is for no real purpose other than I realized I need to keep track of all the weirdness that comes into and out of my life, otherwise it just slips through the cracks. And weirdness needs to be memorialized. You know for posterity's sake...which at this rate means for my cat...who can't read. But anyway. To quote Hilary Clinton quoting The Terminator, "I'm baaaccckkk!!!"

The Numbers Game

ONE  The number of friends I've lost this summer. Not tragically, just due to that person gaining a significant other, which is completely lame.

TWO  The number of job application rejection letters I received in the last few weeks. This doesn't include the non-responses from several other jobs I applied to. C'mon economy!

THREE  The amount in dollars I won from buying a lottery ticket. Watch out, bank account!

FOUR  The number of jobs I am now working. I'm all over the place, man.

FIVE  The number of Stats lessons I have done in the last few days. My brain hurts. But only three. more. to. go. finally.

SIX  This is how many weeks are left in my cell phone contract, which I don't want to renew. I can only hope my phone lasts that long. It's been turning itself off a lot lately, which I think is its way of telling me to just let it go...but I will work it to the grave.

SEVEN/EIGHT  Finally finished watching the last season of Curb Your Enthusiasm (season 7). Perfect timing for the new season 8 which has just begun:)

NINE  The number of weeks until I go to FL for my aunt's nursing program graduation, and then NC to see friends. But who's keeping track... :)

TEN  The number of dogs and animals (a bearded dragon!?) I will be walking and/or sitting this summer. And counting.

On the bottom (but looking up?)

I know I've been a bit downtrodden lately. A bit of a "negative nancy" if you will. I have been rather consumed by the constant stream of bad luck that seems to be bombarding me. I don't want to be so blah. I am trying to be positive. I am trying to be proactive about things. But you know what? It's not so easy. Especially when your day goes like this:

1. Take car to Costco for 2 new tires. Waiting time is 1 hour and 45 minutes. That's ok, I came prepared with a book and my laptop. No wifi? Ok, I still have my book. But then I didn't really feel like reading, so I perused the warehouse. After an hour, I decided it was time for lunch - costco hot dog and soda for a buck fifty! Finally something to look forward to!

2. Ah, but wait. They only accept cash and I have but $1.25...damnit! But wait again! It's costco, they have everything. They even have an ATM!

3. I request $80 from the ATM. "Do you want a receipt?" it asks. "No, thanks!" I say. I figure I am saving a tree. Or at least a twig on a tree. ATM dispenses cash. Hmm...only $20.

4. Have to file a dispute with Costco, who has to file an inquiry with the 3rd party vendor who operates this ATM. I call my bank. While on the phone with the bank, my cell phone drops the call.

5. I desperately need a new cell phone because it's constantly dropping calls and turning itself off. BUT I only have 6 weeks left on my contract and I don't want to renew.

6. I tried selling some old clothes to a resale shop nearby. I thought, maybe I can make some pocket change. Unfortunately my clothes were "too mature" and "older styles" than what they were looking for. I get it. I'm old and unhip. 

7. I get my car back with 2 new tires. But my car is still driving like something's wrong. It's possible I need the other 2 tires replaced or some other work done...

8. And now, who knows when I'll get that invisible money back...

Will this madness end already? Can someone PLEASE just throw me a bone here!?! I'm still looking for a job and out of cash for these stupid "emergencies." Murphy, please take your law and shove it.

Reality with a Vengeance

I come back from a most wonderful long vacation (see map below)

that I have been planning (generically) and saving for for quite some time now, and my welcome home gift seems to be brutal reality.

Within four days of being home, I have a $1000 bill to pay, an undriveable car due to needing two new tires, a tooth filling that has fallen out, and oh, yes, that's right...no job. Why am I being punished for having the time of my life traveling and wanting to travel more?

So if you'll please excuse me, I have some hustling to do...

Pursuit #70: Do I like Aaron Neville, you ask?

I have two ears and a heart, don't I???

It's true. I like Aaron Neville. There I said it. I will even scream it from the mountaintops. I'm not ashamed!

Just try and watch this without getting misty:



Or when you're frustrated over a noncommittal lover try this:


Aaron Neville - "Tell It Like It Is" (live) by mickeynold