An Asian Swedish Massage.

Yesterday was my aunt's birthday. Next Saturday is my birthday. So we decided we'd get massages and pedis to celebrate. As background, my aunt discovered this small nail/waxing/massage parlor that just opened in Merrifield. She took my grandma to get a pedicure there once and got hooked. So then she took me. I got hooked. The funny thing is I nor my aunt have ever been manicure/pedicure type people. There's just something Cheers-esque about this place that keeps us coming back. As an aside, I've always wanted to frequent a place often enough so that they would know me by name and I could order "the usual." Lo and behold I have found it! Albeit, I wasn't expecting it to come so heavily scented with acetone, but I'll take what I can get.

Moving on. So now I go fairly regularly as does my aunt. The owner and the girls that work there are Korean. Some of them don't speak much English. They are all as nice as can be. All the stuff is clean, new and it's small (only 3 pedicure chairs, one "waxing" room and one "massage" room). And it's great. My aunt even has her own box with her name and a number on it that has the nail polish color she likes in it.

So I go into the massage room first. And you know how most massage places are very strategic about where they place the sheet over your nakedness? Yeah, well this place not so much. And I didn't care. So as I'm laying naked on my stomach vulnerable to the lady hammering into my tissues and feeling reeellaaaaxxxeeeddd, I hear the door open and the owner walk in to hand the massager some hot towels. And instead of just walking right out, she says to my back "Ohhhh, hooonneeyy!! You have suuch a good body, I did not even know!!!" (said in Korean accent). With my face firmly planted in the massage table and eyes closed I mumble an "Um, thanks?" Subsequently, because the walls are super thin, I hear her immediately walk back out and tell my aunt the same thing to which she responds something like, "Yeah, she runs a lot."

Now whenever I feel sad and lonely, I can just go where everybody knows my name....and my body. Amen.

Mawwiage.

Marriage. It's so hot right now. Went to one wedding in June for my cousin and just attended another this month for my friend from high school. Then there's the umpteen wedding receptions I've attended over the last year or so as everyone I know seems to be taking the plunge. Many of them are Mormon, so it's to be expected. I'm accustomed to attending wedding receptions and bridal showers throughout my whole life. It's as regular as eating and pooping in Mormondom. And many of my BYU friends have already been married for like 4 years now with 2 kids and driving minivans. True story. But NOW...now it's that time where my non-Mormon friends are getting hitched and I'm starting to realize that I must not be that young anymore.  

I remember a few years ago when I was at the bridal shower of one of my good friends from high school who's Mormon. So there were some older ladies from church there. One lady I had known vaguely from church growing up, and we were talking about my friend and how great it was she was getting married yadda yadda yadda. She looked at me point blank and asked, "So when are you getting married?" without a tinge of humor in her voice or look. Really? How do people expect you to respond to that? In retrospect I should've said something like, "As soon as I get knocked up" or "Once my parole is over." But alas, I can never come up with this stuff til after the fact. I probably said something like, "Ha. Oh yeah. Um, I'm not getting married anytime soon," which was true.

Then there was the time my aunt and I were invited to dinner at my friend from church's house with just her mother. Both very nice, outstanding church goers. My friend was talking about some of the people who spoke in church that day and her mother was asking if the one speaker (male) seemed like someone she might want to date. My friend said, "No, not really. He wasn't THAT impressive." The mom continues to talk about the Bishop of our young single adult ward and how he's performed over 100 marriages since he's been Bishop. She says in all seriousness, "Well, if all these other people are getting married, then why are you guys having a problem finding someone?" To me, this encapsulates the Mormon experience.

My family isn't quite so bad, but they've had their moments. Especially my grandma (aka Gammy). It's her favorite topic of conversation with me: who I'm dating, how serious it is, what they do, if they will go to church with me, and basically that I should marry a Mormon boy or else I will live unhappily and regret it. She tells me the story of how she almost married a Baptist boy. But then had a dream that she married my grandpa, that she saw their wedding announcement in the paper and then how amazingly it came true even though she hadn't seen my grandpa in years since they first met and had no idea if he was already married. She was so glad she made the right decision. She tells me this story everytime I see her.  

Now however, on my most recent trip to visit her, she actually said "You're only 25. You don't need to feel like an old maid just cause you're not married. Girls these days, sometimes they don't get married until they're 30." THIS is so un-Gammy like. She is 91, and from the South and Mormon. That is not characteristic of her worldview at all. Normally she tells me how she's basically only alive until I get married. Or just the fact that she brings up marriage all the time. And thinks I should be meet a boy and be married within 6 months. Gah. Maybe she's actually giving up on me slowly in her old age...I must really be reaching that age where people stop asking and just assume it's not in the cards for me haha.