03 June, 2008

Retail Proselytizers and the Heavenly Mother.

No, this is not a sermon. But recently I had the experience of being approached by missionaries, and they weren't even Mormon! I was going to the mall to run a quick errand after work that day. I was texting my friend about a funny license plate holder I'd seen that said, "Don't just sit there...Needlepoint!" He responded something along the lines of how I have a special radar for the wackiest people. I honestly think I have some sort of weirdo magnet. Exhibit A: So about 5 minutes after that convo, I'm heading out of the mall after completing my errand. As I'm walking toward the escalator, some man is trying to get my attention. I turn thinking he needs directions to a specific store or something. He mumbles something about how he and his friend are new here, then dives right in. 

Mish: "Have you heard about the Heavenly Mother?" 
Me: Oh boy..."Yes, you mean like the wife of God?"
Mish:"No, that she is also God. That God is both male and female."
Me: "Um, no I don't believe that."
Mish: "Well, it says so in the Bible. Are you familiar with the Bible?"
Me: "What version of the Bible are you reading?"

The convo continued a bit as he tried to convince me of this being the last prophecy in the Bible yadda yadda yadda. He talked about something he called The Sanctuary. (I dunno what he was saying cause my eyes glazed over as I was jogging in place to get outta there). But I told him, and his silent companion, that they should get name tags like the Mormon missionaries. I asked for a pamphlet (so I could show my friend and prove the crazies that I meet). Alas, he didn't have one so instead he gives me his name and phone number on a mini notebook page. Haha, anyone interested??? 


molly said...

Today, I was out for a walk and saw "I Heart Brazilian Embroidery" as a bumper sticker. Thinking this was funny, (mostly because i picked up an "I heart Wood" bumper sticker at a wood working show, but have since discovered it is too rife with euphemism to be bumper-approved) I took a picture of it. Out of the house came a woman, asking me if something was wrong with her car. After explaining that I thought the sticker was funny, she proceeded in offering me lessons, books, and the whole shebang as far as Brazilian embroidery goes. Let's just hope that's not a euphemism for anything.

Kimmie said...

Word. I totally ran into missionaries preaching the same Heavenly Mother/God is both male & female doctrine. Thought they were just New York crazies or, you know, Paulo Coelho fanatics. Mormons beware - we have competition!