An Ode to My Unconscious

I sometimes dream. Perhaps, I always dream and I only sometimes remember my dreams. Either way, those times I do recall my REM experiences, boy, are they spectacular.

In my psychological anthroplogy class we were required to read a bit of Freud. During that time I was also required to keep a dream journal. The dreams I recorded therein were not the best I have to offer. But they were a good sampling platter of how my unconscious makes no sense whatsoever. I think I've actually since misplaced that journal (or it's tightly packed away somewhere just like all my other latent thoughts and desires), but I do have a running list of my top 5 in my head at all times, disclosed below.

Disclaimer: Most of these involve random famous people whom I have never met, or even care to meet (or so I thought....)

1. Back in the day, sans children and pre-Sinead O'Connor hair, Britney Spears made an appearance in one of my dreams (which I actually tend to categorize as more of a premonition, but let's move on). I was attending a Press Conference put on by Ms. Spears and her mother, who was her manager. Her mother was proceeding to tell us that in order to revamp Britney's trashy image, she was going to have two children out of wedlock, by two different men. Of course, we in the press were like "Huh?" Suffice it to say that Britney did go on to have two children, though not out of wedlock nor by different men, but still. This proves my gift. If only I can harness this gift and turn it into something worthwhile.

2. Next, I was once married to the rapper Eminem. I recall going on tour with him and hanging out with his daughter Haley who was my step daughter. His ex-wife Kim was also tagging along. The best part was that Eminem and I, though married, slept in separate twin beds just like Lucy and Ricky. See, my dreams are even G-rated! My grandma would be proud.

3. Another time I hung out with my old pal, Jack Nicholson. And by old I mean cause he's old. But as part of a seeming routine, we met up at a playground to hang out. This was not just any playground however. This was a playground built for adults. Everything was to scale for adults. But it still closely resembled the old wooden playground at my elementary school which was full of nooks and crannies to crawl through. Fantastic.

4. I once was set to fight Darth Vader. What was even more bizarre was that it was taking place in a cultural hall stage/gymnasium at an LDS church building. There was a cargo net suspended over the stage which was what we were supposed to climb across to fight - with light sabers, of course. This seemed wholly unfair to me since I am not a skilled light saberer nor a cargo net climber. I was upset I didn't have time to practice, so I ended up skipping out and hiding in a janitor's closet. I am not ashamed cause I think it was just an unfair match to begin with...moving on.

5. Just a couple days ago, I dreamt I was babysitting a red headed boy of about 7 years old. He had this amazing head of rich, wavy auburn hair. The weird part for me was that we were laying in the meadow that used to be behind my house growing up until they built a house there. It was a nice spring day and I guess we were just watching clouds or something. There was a cameo by one of the cavemen from the Geico commericals that walked by. Then I turned to this boy, during our alleged heart to heart and said, "You've got some great hair. Just promise me you won't become Carrot Top, ok??" Best advice I've ever given.

I can't wait to go to sleep tonight....