10 January, 2011

Pursuit #58: Neither here nor there

One can be scatterbrained, but can you ever just be "brained?" Perhaps I inherited my mom's tendency to make up words - she used the word murderize twice in the last couple weeks until we called her out on it. She claims it's a real word because when we tried to look it up, only urban dictionary says it's a word...the irony being that usually urban dictionary includes slang terms that are "hip" and my mom is the antithesis of hip. Either urban dictionary is losing its sway or my mom is wilder than we thought. She does wear animal prints sometimes... 

As I've gotten older, and through various shared experiences, I've learned to appreciate my family more. We're all a lot funnier than I previously thought. Well, at least we think we're funny. I can see how the bond between my family members has grown stronger over the years, and that is really cool. I've also decided that having a big family is kinda great cause if you don't like one person, there are plenty more options to choose from. 

I miss my grandma, Gammy, heaps, but I'm actually glad for her passing since she was pushing 94 and in rather poor health with a diminishing quality of life. That became very evident when I went down to help take care of her for the last couple weeks. She had lived without my grandpa for 16 years and she'd been yearning to go and meet him. I'm not entirely sure what her work was here that she had to finish before she could go join him, but it was so perfect that I got to spend her last couple weeks with her. She was a huge part of my life growing up and all throughout, like a second mother really, so I loved having a chance to help her out in return. My aunt apologized to me for things not happening the way we had planned when I came down to care for Gammy (i.e. her death), and all I could say was, "But maybe things did happen the way they were supposed to." She had such a long, fulfilling life. While I don't aspire to live as long as her, I do aspire to enjoy life the way she did, giving from the bottom of her heart always.

The funeral was wonderful. It made me laugh. It made me cry. As many probably feel on the heels of a funeral or the passing of a loved one, I felt the preciousness of life, a reminder to savor and not take for granted our relationships or the way we choose to live. I was reminded of the importance of family and how wonderful a feeling it must have been for Gammy to see her progeny altogether laughing, talking, crying and full of love for each other. It's an amazing thing to see so many people bound together by not only blood, but love and to think that it's all because of her. The things she left behind in her house are just...things and they just don't matter. The people she left behind...her familial empire is truly amazing though. In the end, family really is all that matters. 
"Gammy" 1917-2011


Sokphal said...

Your family is grrrreat! Hands down! I've liked everyone I've met. :) LOVE the pic of Gammy too!

Ryan and Erin said...

I think the intent of your blog is your own therapy, but really it can be therapeutic for me. I love the way you can put feelings into words. You are hilarious!

Anne P said...

What a sweet post. I'm sorry to hear about Gammy, but maybe she was just waiting for you to come see her as her last business before moving on :) Beautiful picture, too.